Don’t It Always Seem to Go…
It was the worst thing to happen to me because I’d never worked from home before, so I didn’t yet know that unless I make a conscious effort to meet my daily physical and emotional needs, I’ll inevitably find myself slouched on the couch,
dissatisfied and lonely, suffering from a case of self-inflicted immobility and watching with mild horror as cat hair sifts through the air to settle in layers on my wilting pajamas. I had no idea that inertia isn’t just something I learned about in Physics 10, but that it is, in fact, a cult in which my brain is a zealous and devout member. Since I began each day at rest, my brain went to fanatical lengths to convince me to stay at rest and would resist my (its?) attempts to change my velocity. Having never been in charge of my innate forces before, I’d always thought that my brain knew my needs best because that’s, you know, kind of its whole purpose. I had no idea my brain would argue with itself if it told me I was hungry and I would feel a resulting urge to move from the couch to the kitchen, only to have my brain turn around and deny that urge in a shrill, hysterical voice because that would involve STANDING and using my limbs to bear my own weight and then using my digits to chop things and press buttons and that’s TOO MUCH VELOCITY AND CHANGE and it’s really probably best to just wait this whole thing out until another being comes along and forces us/me into motion because you CAN’T ARGUE WITH INERTIA. It’s one of the LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE.So that part sucked. All the sitting and waiting for…something.
Because I am not, in fact, physically or mentally handicapped, I no longer wanted to live in a world where I considered it a triumph to brush my teeth. Because hey, brushing your teeth is something. And brushing my teeth meant I didn’t technically do nothing for yet another entire day*. I wanted to return to a world where I could focus on a bigger picture, where success was measured in terms of being able to achieve things beyond the range of activities I’d mastered as a toddler. So I found work in an office and promptly realized that working from home was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It was the best thing to happen to me because…for a million reasons because. First and foremost, because I got enough sleep. Every. Day. I really can’t emphasize this enough. I have a tricky biorhythm that simply doesn’t conform to the 9-5 world and when I am forced to live in the 9-5 world, I am hopelessly and chronically fatigued, prone to migraines and illness, and generally miserable. I also got to be chronically fatigued and miserable in a toxic workplace. That was fun. When you work from home? You have complete control over with whom you come into contact, which can have a resounding positive effect on your mental health.
And, oh…I could go on and on. So I will just for a minute. When you work from home, you don’t have to invest any energy into maintaining the ridiculous facades we’re required to maintain in an office environment. If there’s no work to do, you can just leave; you don’t have to find inane busy-work projects to fill your time until you can be released according to the arbitrary schedule. If you work better listening to really loud music, you can do that. If you can perform perfectly well with the TV on, you can do that too. You can swear and snack and wear sweats instead of pantyhose and talk to your friends when you’re feeling uninspired or you can get up and leave for two hours if you’re too frustrated to continue. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just as long as you do it. In other words, you’re freed up to do whatever you need to do to improve your own well-being and productivity. (The Man has yet to figure that whole well-being to productivity ratio.)
And, fool that I was, I flushed the whole thing down the toilet.
When I was working from home, I allowed my life to suffer. I was in control of every aspect of my day and my happiness; I just didn’t realize it.
When I worked in an office, my life suffered and there was little I could do to control it. I tried–hard–and it didn’t work. (Ergo, sabbatical.) I have since learned that my brain’s fervor for inertia is as dismissible as the rantings of any religious wing nut. I can do things, lots of things, amazing things, like bike across Canada, when I defy my brain. In fact, the best things happen when I defy my brain.Why am I telling you this? Because I want a job working from home. I’m writing it down, putting it Out There, making it official. I heard that this works. (Besides, isn’t that what that book Oprah went nutty for says to do?) So, Universe? I want a job working from home. And this time I’m gonna rock it.
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* It should be noted that I never, ever, missed a deadline during this time. I did do work, and did it well, despite the fact that what I mostly remember from those days is all the sitting. The latent over-achiever in me never allowed my work to suffer, just my life. BECAUSE I AM A FOOL.
